How Your Brain Limits You

The brain loves a complete story that makes sense.

When there are gaps or unanswered questions, the brain tenses up and requires more effort to create a cohesive story.

This is why we are often tricked into making decisions that are not in our best interest.  We will naturally be attracted to the narrative or story that makes the most sense while raising the fewest amount of questions. This idea is based on the principle of Cognitive ease, which is the measure of how easy it is for our brains to process information.

Anytime you are looking at information, whether it be forming an opinion, making a decisions, or working on a project, your brain is asking two questions:

1. Is it easy to understand?
2. Is it cohesive?

The definition for Easy is something that is achieved without great effort or presenting few difficulties. The definition for Cohesive is the action or fact of forming a united whole.

Combine the two and you have a very dangerous combination.

The brain wants the easy way and it wants to make sure that way is cohesive.  This can help explain why we filter information and are subject to biases.  If information interferes with cohesion, the brain will try to ignore that information.

In the real world this means that your brain is going to naturally prefer the explanation that is easy and cohesive. If your favorite sports team loses its easy to come up with a specific reason that explains why they lost. The coach made a bad decision or the player didn’t execute well. If you are stuck in a low paying job that doesn’t reward your hard work or extra effort, it’s easy to label your employer as unfair.

To use a real-world example, just refer to the Jussie Smollett story. A story was told that was easy to digest and made sense, which lead to a lot of people believing it without asking additional questions.

Lack of Cohesion creates a state of conflict, discord and dissension within the mind.  When faced with such a situation, the brain often relies on avoidance or distraction as it’s tool of choice.  Remember, the brain prefers easy.  When you have a situation where there is no longer cohesion, the easiest path is to typically ignore it.

Think about what this means.

In order to be successful, in order to grow, you have to train yourself to skip the easy thing and do the difficult thing.  You have to force yourself to stick with something even when you lack cohesion. In the short-term, this takes immense effort. But by doing this, you will eventually get to easy and cohesive with that particular project or situation. You will learn more, fill in the gaps, and reach a new level of understanding.

Then as you continue to grow and continue to live, you will encounter more opportunities that are difficult and more situations that create conflict, discord and dissension.  Each of those moments in time are a chance for you to grow and evolve.

If you always go with what is easy and cohesive, you will limit your growth and likely make judgment errors.

The brain is really good at signaling when these situations occur.

When you are stressed or anxious, it could be because the situation is lacking cohesion.  Getting clear on what is not fitting within the situation can help you pinpoint the problem and solve it quickly.

Be careful when the opposite is true. An idea or judgment may come easily to you and make perfect sense based on the information at hand. Because of this, you will be less likely to second guess yourself, which could lead you to making bad decisions or jumping to conclusions.

Next time you think your analysis or judgment is a slam dunk because everything fits perfectly — take some time to re-evaluate whether or not this is the best decision.  Your brain could have possibly avoided certain information that would drastically change the outcome.  In other words, don’t rush in, give your brain some time to step away and then come back and evaluate the reasons for making that decision.  If they are still sound, then go for it.  But if you notice that something in the back of your brain is uneasy about it, you may want to follow that path and see where it takes you.

A little confusion and difficulty can be just what you need to force yourself to be creative, which may present a new solution that is significantly better.

Simply being aware of this mental process can help you interrupt your brain’s preference for going with the easy and cohesive choice, allowing you to think deeper and make better decisions.

THE ENEMY WITHIN: YOUR EGO OR GOD

This is the choice we all have.  We can choose our ego or we can choose God.

The illusion is that we can have both.  We can sometimes choose God when it serves us and we can sometimes choose the ego, when it serves us.  But, this is an illusion, it is one or the other.  The ego is fear, God is love.

Those are your choices.  Your experience in life has everything to do with this choice.  If you have chosen your ego, then you will experience pleasure but not happiness.  You will experience fear, strife and conflict, not peace.  You will choose status over acceptance.  Everything you do stems from this choice.

Our world is as it is, because so many of us have chosen our ego to be our guide.  It helps us acquire riches, it offers immediate pleasure but it is also the source of all of our pain.  It is the source of our loneliness, our depression, our anxiety, our anger.  The ego must have an enemy to thrive.  It is always attacking, always wanting more.

You know what choice you have made because all you need to do is look at your life.  The ego creates the illusion of happiness through pleasure.  But pleasure is not happiness, it is a shallow substitute that is always fleeting and you must always get more to keep it going.

When you choose God, Love guides you in all things.  You don’t judge your brothers and sisters as different, you love them because you see them as their potential, not as the ego perceives them to be.

The ego creates the illusion of false love, where love exists when a person does what you want them to do.  Your child gets an A on a test, and the ego creates the illusion of love and you praise your child.  The ego’s love is conditional, it is based on the belief that as long as you do what I think you should do, then I will love you.  When you don’t, I will attack you.   If no enemy exists, the ego cannot survive, so it must always have an enemy.  Sometimes that enemy is out there.  It is a political belief or religious belief.   And sometimes the enemy is closer, it is a friend, a family member, a boss.  And sometimes it is us.

When you judge other people, you judge yourself.

When you accept other people, and choose to see their potential, you offer forgiveness instead of judgment.  And by doing so, you offer yourself forgiveness.  The battle is an illusion.  Choose your higher self, and your experience will reflect that.  Your perspective will change.  You will experience peace, joy and love with no conditions.  Each moment will be as God intended and by seeing yourself as a perfect child of god, you will see your brothers and sisters the same way.  You will have infinite patience and you will experience quiet peace in all situations.

The ego won’t allow this.  For if you truly embrace this part of yourself, then the ego cannot survive.  What was once a fragmented mind, filled with judgments, anger, greed, scarcity, will be replaced with the simple idea that you choose to love.  The ego will try to poison your brain with reasons and justifications, but you have already made your choice and simply reminding yourself of this choice will be all that is needed and eventually the ego will no longer be who you are.

Even now, your ego is lamenting this idea, it is giving you a torrent of reasons why this is ridiculous.

So let me provide you with a simple test that will eliminate all doubt as to who you should choose.

If you think the ego has any positive attributes, then do this and the choice will be clear.

Completely give in to the ego.  Do not limit its expression, allow all the judgment, anger to flow freely, do not hold back.  Allow the annoyance and frustration to come out immediately.  Allow your envy and jealousy to fully express itself.  See what life is like when you give everything over to the ego.

See if you can go more than a few hours living like this.  Give in to all pleasures and temptations, argue, attack, everything that the ego wants, allow it.

This experience will show you that you have been living your life between the two for as long as you can remember, sometimes you choose God but always go back to the ego for you believe it serves you well.  But it doesn’t, it never has and never will.

The world is in desperate need of love, not attack, not hate, but love.  Decide now who is going to guide you.  All that is needed is a little willingness to see the world as God sees it.

He will do the rest.

The thing that is holding you back

Validation.   We are constantly seeking validation of our worth.  This drive for approval prevents us from truly accepting ourselves and getting to a place of confidence and ultimate self-belief.

If you want to live a life of significance, you must be willing to forego your biological desire for validation and instead get to a place of acceptance of self and cultivate an unwavering belief that you are destined for greatness, regardless of your current circumstance.

How many dreams are crushed each year?  You start off on an endeavor filled with excitement, enthusiasm and hope.  Then, as you start the journey you receive negative feedback, which creates an internal dialogue of self criticism and eventually, that excitement disappears and you move on to something else. Instead of staying on the path of significance, you follow the less treacherous path and conform.  

In that moment, part of you becomes broken and if you don’t do anything about it, you may live your entire life like this — never knowing what could have been.  Never knowing what your potential could have unleashed.  

All because you allowed the opinion of others to shape your destiny.  

This is the path that most people take and it’s easy to see why.  I don’t care who you are, we are biologically wired to deeply care about what other people think.  Our ability to form groups played a huge part in our dominance on this planet.  We were weaker, slower and more fragile than other species yet we survived .  Why?  Because of our social/group systems.  

These same systems however, have a nasty side as well. Someones opinion can make or break you.

Just look at when you post something on facebook.  You likely refresh the page to see how many likes the picture received, or how many comments.  You are constantly validating yourself over and over based on what others think.

There is a place for getting feedback but it should only play a small part.  It should help you refine your tactics, it should motivate you to improve, it should not determine whether you GIVE UP.

One only has to look at history.  What if Albert Einstein decided to give up on physics?  He tried to find a job throughout Europe and sent out hundreds of applications and was rejected by everyone.  That is why he took a job as a patent clerk.  For years he would send letters to universities seeking a position and all he knew was rejection.  Most people would have given up but he didn’t because there was a belief inside of him that was much bigger than the opinions of others.  

What if Elon Musk gave up?  When he wanted to create an electric vehicle he was laughed at by the auto industry.  No one thought he could do it.  When he wanted to make space flight cheaper it was thought impossible.  Entire industries were against him, yet he prevailed.  His belief in self was greater than the belief of others, so he stayed the course.  That belief allowed him to overcome challenges and ultimately lead to his success.  

You must make a choice, you are either going to believe in yourself, regardless of what anyone else thinks, or you are going to allow the external world to decide what kind of life you live.

You are so much bigger than a feeling, a persons opinion, a problem… when you start to believe in yourself, you see how small those things are in comparison to who you are.  

But you have to start somewhere.  Your entire life you have used other peoples praise or reprimands as a compass.  You were told you were gifted and smart as a child because you received an A on a test.  You then get a B and start to believe you are not smart, not gifted.  

STOP allowing others to impact who you are and what you are capable of.  

The formula for creating a new belief is simple.  Give the new belief attention for a long enough period of time and it will become part of your hard-wiring.  

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Exercise to Improve Your Confidence and Belief in Self.

• Remind yourself of your inner potential every day.  

Make it a habit to remind yourself throughout the day what you are capable of.  An easy place to start is every time you get in your car, talk to yourself.  I am great, I am talented, I am destined for greatness, I can do anything I put my mind to.  You don’t have to say it aloud, just think it, the key is consistency.  Put a sticky note in your car that just says “Remember”.  If you do this for several weeks, I promise you, you will start to notice subtle differences about your attitude.  

2.   Remember your past.  

We often forget all of the great things we have accomplished in the past.  Start to remember past events that were difficult that you overcame.  Maybe it was a work project or difficulty with a friend or a conversation you didn’t want to have, but you did it and became better for it.  Remembering your past victories can help elevate your confidence and belief in self.  Start journaling in the morning or at lunch or before bed and just use that space to remember some past accomplishments.  A simple way to start is by asking yourself the following question:  What are some challenges or difficulties I have overcome in the past 6 months?